Updated: Oct 8, 2020
Sometimes the hardest thing in life is trying something new. A new relationship, a new job, a new home, new friends. They're new because you've outworn the past and there's no more to learn from them. Initially there can be anger, rage, overwhelming sadness, a sense regret and a wish that things could have been different.
Instead of asking why did this happen to me, maybe the question is, what can I learn from this?
One of the biggest things to ask yourself is, what part of me do I need to explore now this is no longer part of my life. Was it a crutch? An outworn dynamic? A negative pattern of behaviour? Did it really soothe my soul and if not what will?
When our lives change we are being called upon to learn. It doesn't matter how old you are we can all learn new tricks.
Choosing a new partner rather than changing the face on the pillow and continuing in a familiar relationship that you've been a part of once or several times before isn't easy. The same applies to new jobs and friendships. Often I work with people who will keep choosing to have the same experience over and over again, ultimately blaming their poor choices in men / women, jobs and friends. Not realising that they are falling into familiar patterns of behaviour because to try something new can be scary. Because that will also be navigating a new part of you.
If you want 'new', are you ready to accept that you will let go of parts of yourself that didn't work in the past and instead develop a new narrative - new way of expressing yourself. Of asking what you need and want. And can you acknowledge the difference between what you want and need. What is your version of a life well led?
New can interesting. New can be exciting. New can be really really scary...
An emotion often associated with 'new' is fear. Fear that a relationship won't work out the way you want it to. They'll realise that you're a bit of a slob/a neat freak/that you snore/that you adore reality tv/don't know what the different loads on the washing machine are used for and so on.
Fear that they won't like your friends or family. Fear that you won't like theirs. Fear that you are going to jump into a world of different to what you're used to.
Fear that the job won't be what you want it to be. Fear that you can't do the job. Fear that your colleagues won't like you...
Time to start something new. Time to release the fear.
Two exercises for you to try.
One is a breathing exercise. For more information on breathing techniques then head over to the blog which can be found in the 'more' tab on the website and read it first.
Sit somewhere comfortably to begin with. (This exercise can be done anywhere and at any time but to learn it can take a bit of time so you can focus). Settle your breathing so you have a nice even flow and are in a calm frame of mind. You may find it helpful to do this after a breathing technique.
Start with releasing your breath out of your mouth
I release fear
On the inhale (which can be through the nose or mouth)
I inhale joy
I release fear
I inhale joy
after a few breaths you may feel that you want to change it slightly
I inhale joy
and I exhale fear.
I know its exactly the same words. But you have changed the dynamic. You are putting Joy above Fear.
repeat as often as you like but ideally at least three times.
Secondly we are going to work with crystals. I am going to assume that you are used to working with crystals. That you have found the right ones for you and you have bonded. In this exercise you are working with crystals with a point at the end, that are roughly the same size and of the same kind eg clear quartz, rose quartz or amethyst.
With the point towards the heel of the hand in the left hand and
the point towards the fingers in the right hand, you will be bringing in the energy through the left hand and releasing energy through the right.
Find somewhere comfortable to sit and practice using the crystals to help with the input and output of energy. Help yourself to help with bringing in joy and releasing tension, fear and anger. The left hand relates to energy coming towards you and the right side relates to the release of energy. Feel the energy leave your body as the new energy comes in. Use your breath and feel yourself sitting in the light.